Tonight’s AA meeting was about resentment, and it got me to thinking. In my experience, resentment usually comes from holding onto an offense too long. If we fee the resentment, it can lead to a grudge, where we eventually try to strike back at whoever offended us. And offenses usually happen when I’m hurt or feel disrespected, or some combination thereof. But in any case, the offense is the key.
The great thing about offense is that there’s a huge difference between offense given and offense taken. I have no control whatsoever, nor will I ever, over someone else acting offensive. But I have all the control in the world over whether I’ll take that offense or not. I have a distant relative that regularly posts on a family website “I love you all and there’s nothing you can do about it!” Offense is kinda the same way: you can be as offensive as you want, but I refuse to take offense, and there’s nothing you can do about it!
For me, this isn’t something I do to be noble. Nothing like that. Instead, refusing to take offense is an energy conservation strategy. Do you have any idea how much energy it sucks out of you to get offended? Some people stew over an offense for hours, days, or weeks! Wow, think what else they could be doing with all that energy! I want none of that… life is much more peaceful when I refuse to take offense. And it’s a great gift to the offender, too, because it means we have much better prospects of better days ahead if I don’t take offense.
