A pattern is something we do over and over. Some patterns are standalone, like breathing. There’s nothing else in particular I have to do while I breathe. The more common kind of pattern is where things get paired up. For example, if I eat scrambled eggs, I want bacon. Eggs and bacon just kinda go together for me. But some pairings can be problems. I travel a lot, and I pair up places with other things. For example, it’s hard for me to think about Key West without thinking about drinking. Key West, after all, is the “quaint little drinking town with a fishing problem.”
I’m in a town right now where it’s been almost a decade since I spent a night here without drinking. I went to an AA meeting here, which marks the first time I’ve ever been to a meeting outside my home group, and by the grace and strength of God, I will not drink tonight. My hope and intent is to break those two patterns. Actually, I already broke the second one by going to the meeting, and will break the second one if I go to bed without going down to the bar for a drink.
Patterns are strong. I think they might be nature’s way of conserving mental energy. Doing the same thing we’ve done many times before doesn’t require mental energy much beyond basic consciousness. Breaking a pattern requires much more, including weighing consequences, persuading ourselves it’s worth it to break the pattern, and the fortitude to carry it through.
Simply put, breaking a pattern is exhausting. The first time. But each time we reinforce the break by doing the alternate thing again, it gets a little easier. You’ll notice this sounds an awful lot like sliding into bad patterns, like drinking. I think the process works equally well in both directions. Your brain doesn’t care if the ultimate destination is good or bad; it just wants to keep doing the same thing over and over again. So with that being the case, why not reinforce the good patterns? That’s what I’m hoping to do.
